1@BennetEnjoyer: BREAKING: Cuomo has fled the NYC mainland following its fall to socialist Zohran Mamdani. Sources say he will establish a new govt on Staten Island with the goal of eventually reclaiming the entire city. Mamdani has promised to purge all remaining Cuomintang on the mainland.
2%
3@rubysapphrald: i still cannot believe we let filthy frank rebrand as a semi serious musician i bet that pink morph suit talks to him from his closet like the damn green goblin mask
4%
5@kingofthelocals: M.I.A. is so good that sometimes I turn the 5G on my phone off for a few minutes out of respect
6%
7@Dustinkcouch: nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut:
8moon's haunted nasa employee: what?
9astronaut: "loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted
10%
11@nibiru-TRUTH: Smelly Steve has joined the Zoom meeting
12Smelly Steve: Sorry I smel so bad guys Lol
13Diane: We cant smell you Steve, its Zoom
14Smelly Steve has shared a file: BODYSTINK.ODOR (6.3GB)
15%
16@htmljones: alarmingly younger gf (scrolling tiktok): i don't even fw jjk like that but toji phonk edits go so hard
1740-year-old ivy league lesbian academic stroking her hair: they used to call these AMVs in the Bush administration
18%
19@bigsnugga: i was raised on silk shirt rnb so all that incel shit never hit for me, i believe in beggin for the pussy. outside in the rain, crying, throwing up, just for a sniff. thats your role as a man
20%
21@MNateShyamalan: i'm in a code review with elon musk. ive got the CSS for neopets.com on 3 monitors. my browser's in dark mode so it looks cool. "this part?" he asks, pointing to code for the Giant Omelette. "caches tweets in the mainframe cyberhex," i say. he nods. "as i suspected"
22%
23@DrSweety303: Hi diva.. Can I call you diva? My name is Detective Fierce... You're not in trouble boots, we're just trying to get the tea on this situation...
24%
25@swamp_chapo: Y'all are calling 20 year olds with 8% body fat milfs smh. If you saw the moms I want to fuck you'd hurl
26%
27@puppytrender: lesbian outside the bar: "lighting a cigarette* "when i graduated highschool you were 13 isnt that weird"
28me, so drunk icant stand straight: "can yuo put that out on me"
29%
30@thingskatedid: did you know in linux you can adjust the volume by using alsamixer or pavucontrol or pipewire somehow or maybe with jack or IPC using dbus or probably over PF_NETLINK to the kernel idk. Did you know with linux if you want to adjust the volume you can go fuck yourself
31%
32@Jay481656035935: I'd much rather see old fat guys having sensual passionate sex, making love if you will, than hear Marxist/communist theory on anything.
33%
34@weirdassfishes: Me at the pearly gates: Heyyyy God
35God: Hey girl so look it's really straightforward the one rule is you can never have read a fanfiction where co-founder of Facebook Eduardo Saverin was anorexic and also got fucked in the ass like that's literally it
36Me: Ok Listen 🤦♀️
37%
38@Fredward3948576: [suddenly interested] this "power of friendship"... can it pay off gambling debt
39%
40@slugopolis: the problem with puppy play is she gets to be the dog and im supposed to, what, fuck the dog?
41%
42@dodgonkulator: all the really odd women and gay men on here seem to have access to an alternate version of family guy that's really low-res and every episode is about various characters putting on minxy outfits
43%
44@on_da_ spectrum: me, taking huge rips of shoe polish remover in public: snrfff coughcoughcough uohhh
45twink walking by: omg yes hunny we love poppers! happy Pride bitchh!
46me, taking another lethal dose of inhalants and looking around confusedly: whhat th hell did that little girl just say to me
47%
48@picotop: i go on 14+ dates a week. mostly finance guys, some consultants and tech.
49i steal every single one of their work laptops.
50information is your edge.
51%
52@salivasisters: stop Jerkin off for two seconds Man kamen Rider is on . hes going to Save the city dude
53%
54@ruinedurnight: if i dont get a switch for christmas tm im going to explain he/him lesbians to my pop pop w dementia in the middle of dinner
55%
56@futur.blue: tariffs day 6 update: mechanical keyboard hobbyist discord server discussing political violence
57%
58@farringtOn: titty in one hand nintendo ds in the other
59%
60@iwriteok.bsky.social: after days of grifters and con men at CES we stumbled upon the booth for VLC. they were all dressed as wizards and told us, "we have nothing to sell, we just decided to show up". i told them I'd been using their software to pirate media for 15 years and they said "keep doing that"